born to die
by cart00nheart
Summary: my take on the worst couple, based on the song Born To Die - by Lana Del Ray. The pairing will be Bade all the way! And it'll show what happens after The Worst Couple, from my POV. REVIEWS WOULD BE WONDERFUL. M just in case.


**This fic was inspired by Lana Del Ray - Born To Die.~**

**And my own take on The Worst Couple.**

_Don't make me sad, don't make me cry. _

_Sometimes love is not enough, and the road gets tough, I don't know why._

_Keep making me laugh, let's go get high._

_The road is long, we carry on, try to have fun in the meantime._

_Come and take a walk on the wild side, let me kiss you hard in the pouring rain,_

_you like your girls insane._

_"Ten,_

_Nine,_

_Eight.."_

Her normally crisp, harsh voice that spat words like a rabid volcano spewing chunks of lava, broke. It cracked in multiple places as she hit the number eight. And even Jadelyn West was too emotional to care. She was in a trap full of desperation and urgency, part of her wanted, _longed,_ for Beck to realise how much he'd hurt her, how much she was hurting, an ache that no one could fix, past the point of repair. She wanted her friends - the group of people behind that door, the ones she knew inside out, spend hours with day on day, the ones she considered friends, even though she'd never admit it - she wanted them to know how much their snide comments, and spiteful remarks dented everything she was, how much they hurt. How she scraped through her days inside the walls of Hollywood Arts feeling unwanted, feeling _so alone on a Friday night_, like had no one, not a soul to confide in, not even Beck. Now, she knew she wasn't one to talk of hateful, stubborn ways, silently, she did regret the way she treated everyone, and knew that one day it would come back to bite her in the ass...but not like this. And not with Beck. She could deal, she could deal with losing everyone else, anyone else, but not him. They were mutualistic, they thrived on each other, they needed what each other had, without each other...they were nothing. Jade knew this all along, but she failed to show any resilience, and god damn it, what was wrong with her.

She was buying herself some time, putting off reaching her next consecutive number, but she knew she couldn't go back on her word now. What would people think of her? They'd think she was weak. That she was all talk, if she went back on her word, Jade feared that she would just be walked all over, used as a doormat, just like her father had used her...she couldn't go back to that, as much as it was breaking her heart, knowing that Beck was on the other side of that door, and he didn't love her enough to come and get her, to take her in his arms, to tell her as long as they had each other, nothing could hurt her, she'd be fine. _They'd be fine. _All she wanted was to be loved by someone, and her whole life, she never believed it was possible for anyone to love her - that was the seed her parents had planted inside her head _as a little child_, and then...then she found Beck, and everything changed. _He liked his girls insane._

"Seven..."

Jade realised her voice had been merely a whisper, the trembling tone barely loud enough for herself to register, let alone the contents of Tori's house. Her mind was too _lost _to even contemplate thoughts of Tori. Over the past few weeks, she felt like they were making progress, Jade was somehow...finding it impossible to hate her. In Tori, Jade could see a part of her that she was, that she kept inside, too fearful of showing that side to anyone now - the type of girl that Jade wanted to be, but knew she could never. Of course, she couldn't handle being as sickly sweet as Vega was, sure, she'd always want to keep that fiery, feisty persona that everyone recognised as Jade, but sometimes, just sometimes, she wished she could let the girl that showed similarities to Tori, free for a little while.

"Seven.." She repeated, begging her _feet not to fail her now, _her legs quivering beneath her weight, her vision clouding at the lack of substance in her stomach. Jade had failed to eat anything all day, she'd been busy with classes non-stop, planning for her play that was making it's hugely anticipated debut tomorrow night. The only chance she did have to grab something that would replenish her energy levels, was a few hours prior to this, when she skipped food to watch Beck's own play, which was way more important to her. Seeing her boyfriend up on stage, sitting among a crowd of people that were mesmerised by his work - nothing could ever give her a feeling like that, one of intense pride, so glad that she could call him _"mine." _She pushed the nagging hunger in her stomach aside, so she could support him, and even now, when she felt physically sick, she didn't regret it. Or maybe she felt sick, so sick she could feel the little colour she possessed draining from her face, because she could feel Beck slowly slipping through her fingers, and out of her reach for good.

"Six..."

"Five..."

Halfway mark, almost at _the finish line. _Jade forced her mind to focus, though she couldn't help drifting away, speeding through the archive of their relationship. Right here, were they were standing, this door, was a huge landmark for them. Beck's parents had sold this house to Mr and Mrs Vega, making them the previous owners. This spot right here, was the moment that Jade first laid eyes on Beck, who stood behind this door, this door that resembled the walls Jade had spent years building up around herself, gradually shutting out those around her, one by one, isolating herself. Jade remembered that day, and she knew she always would. She could picture it now, clearly as she could picture the Vega household, right in front of her.

_It had been a school day, a Monday, if you wanted specific details. Jade had made her way home from school, and settled back in her house briefly, before she knew she would have to leave again. A few weeks prior to this, Jade had enrolled herself to work as a paper girl, delivering the newspapers to the surrounding neighbourhoods on her jet black bike, her matching hair flowing beautifully behind her in the mid august wind. On this particular day, a certain Beckett Oliver was locked out of his own house, and had resided on the steps that led to the front porch, awaiting the arrival of his mother from her job in the city. As Jade rode past the house belonging to The Oliver family, she noticed a young boy, around her age, perched on the stone steps, his teeth chattering, his hair tousled from the wind, his cheeks tinged a deep red. Jade knew this boy - she'd seen him a few times around Hollywood Arts...Hollywood Arts; the reason Jade was even riding this damned bike around like a complete and utter gank. Jade hated school, and when I say hated, I mean despised. With a deep, brewing, passionate hate. It made her miserable. She had too much of a rough exterior to make friends, she was too stubborn to even try and cooperate. She was hated, and she'd barely even finished her first year. So she was saving, saving the money for a private school, the only school that was within walking distance, because her parents certainly wouldn't drive her. They wouldn't pay for her, either, despite how many times she broke down at the dinner table when asked about her day, her cheeks a raging red, furious with everything._

_The boy had that slightly cocky attitude about him - the exact same one Jade despised, one that read "Even though I'm sat out here in the freezing cold, on my parents porch, because I forgot my key, I'm still perfect." And, as much as Jade wanted to hate him, she couldn't. She rode to a halt, yanking a dishevelled paper from her stuffed backpack, and tossed it towards the tanned figure on the steps._

_"That should keep you entertained" she remarked sarcastically, taking her hand from the brake, a snide grin forming on her rouged lips as she prepared to ride away, though something stopped her._

_"So, you're telling me that Jade West reads the paper?" Beck laughed, leaning forwards slightly to grab the paper with his stiff fingers, rigid from the cold. He looked up at her as his fingers grasped the dry print, his eyes full of a playful, teasing manner. Jade froze. First of all, he knew her name? Second of all, he spoke back with a certain authority that Jade had yet to hear from anyone, and her opinion was undecided on it._

_"No." she replied bluntly, rolling her bike backwards so she could stare him down. "I was saying, that since your sorry ass isn't going anywhere any time soon," she nodded to the locked door behind him. "Maybe, you should get reading" she smirked, raising a pierced eyebrow._

_"Oh, I think I'd rather be sat here, than riding round on a gank-mobile, delivering papers to everyone in the neighbourhood, but thanks for the advice, babe" he nodded in her direction, a strand of his long hair draping over his face, tapping his foot absently._

_Jade allowed her mouth to fall open in shock, though she regained her composure before he could notice. "My name is Jade, four letters, should be easy to remember, even for an idiot like you" she retorted, tightening her grip on the handlebars. "And I apologise, I had no idea you were getting paid for sitting on your doorstep" she scoffed, rolling her eyes in disgust._

_Beck looked up at her, his eyes wide at her sharp tone. "Well, someone's a little grouchy today, aren't we princess?" he smiled that winning smile, stretching his legs out in front of him, crossing his boot clad feet, stretching his arms up behind his head. "Actually, I'm not getting paid" Beck told her, as if she didn't know. "But, you obviously are. You need the money bad, or something?" he asked, a little softer this time._

_"I'm grouchy everyday, actually" she mocked him, sitting down on the seat of her bike, relaxing her stance. Jade had never been confronted like this before, normally people were too scared to even breathe in her presence...it was kinda' refreshing. "No, I don't need anything" Jade lied, looking down at her own feet, her toe scratching the side walk._

_"Interesting..." Beck whispered, almost as if talking to himself. "So, you just ride around with a bag full of papers for a hobby?" he laughed, tilting his head to the side._

_"Are you stupid?" Jade asked him, becoming increasingly tired of his sarcastic questions. She could have easily just rode away, there and then. But something, something about him, compelled her not to, forced her to stay._

_"I'm not just a pretty face, Jade" he told her, shaking his head, slowly._

_"Oh, please" Jade snapped._

_"Come on" Beck patted the spot on the stone steps beside him. Her eyes widened as he did so, she searched for some sort of trap that would expose her foolishness._

_"What?..." she asked hesitantly._

_"__**Come take a walk on the wild side" **__he motioned to her._

_And that was it. From that moment on, she was putty in Beck's hands. They talked, and talked for hours. Part of Jade figured that he only wanted her company because he was locked out, and she liked his company that much, she would have been okay with that. But the other part of her longed for his interest in her to be genuine. She'd never taken such a liking to anyone else, and sometimes she even found them sharing moments that even brought a smile out from wherever it was hiding. He had the ability to draw so many positive emotions from her, and she almost wanted to tell him "__**Keep making me laugh**__" but she just silently willed this moment on the steps to go on forever._

_"Jade.." Beck spoke tentatively._

_"What?" Jade turned to him expectantly, her voice diverting from the bitterness it previously held. She sat closely beside him, her face turned to meet his._

_"How would you feel, about...um, maybe hanging out...sometime?" he stammered slightly, biting his lip. This was the only sign of nervousness he had shown all night. Darkness surrounded them, but the light from the porch highlighted his anxiety._

_"W-with you?" Jade stammered in return, equally as worried. She could see no reason why anyone would want to be around her, and the fact that he asked so sincerely, she couldn't help but doubt his motives._

_"With me. When we're not out here in the freezing cold, on my front porch" Beck smiled._

_Jade considered this for a moment. "No" she spoke strongly, standing abruptly from the porch. Beck seemed shocked, and bounded up after her._

_"Wha-why not?" he asked her, his voice pleading._

_"You asked me if I wanted to, right?" she turned to face him, already halfway down the path._

_"Yes..." Beck spoke hurriedly._

_"And I don't want to, so the answer is no" Jade spat. She instantly regretted her words. Of course she wanted to hang out with him sometime, she actually wanted nothing more, but her fear and doubt had taken over, and she just didn't want to be hurt, or made a fool of. She was so conflicted; she trusted Beck, even after a few measly hours he'd earned her trust, she just, she'd taken enough pain for half of the student body at Hollywood Arts, and she could foresee Beck being the type of guy that would hurt her._

_"Oh.." Beck looked down, completely disheartened. Jade flooded with guilt, and had to resist the urge to walk back towards him and apologise, and tell him what she really felt. He looked completely crushed._

_"Yeah" Jade muttered, turning out of the gate at the end of the path and hopping onto her bike. She was just about to ride away into the darkness when she turned to Beck._

_"Beck.." she spoke softly._

_"Yeah" He looked up instantly, hope lighting up his face, twinkling in his dark eyes._

_"Under the mat" Jade gestured to the door mat that was laid at the top of the porch. He stared at her, puzzled, all hope fading away, diminishing into nothing._

_"I don't know about your parents, but mine always leave a spare key under that mat" Jade confessed. And it was true. She could have told Beck this much, much earlier, but she had chosen not to, which was quite selfish of her, but she wanted to spend time with him, and she knew under other circumstances, he wouldn't want to be around her, who would?_

_Beck crouched down, fumbling under the mat until he stood, retrieving a dainty, silver key. Even though he had found his ticket inside, he didn't look at all pleased, or relieved, just...sad._

_"Thanks, Jade" he mumbled. Jade nodded, placing her feet on the peddles, looking ahead into the night._

_"Jade! Wait" he spoke, desperation hinting his voice._

_"Oh, what now, Oliver?" Jade demanded, wanting to slap herself as she heard the harshness of her tone._

_"I-I..I was just wondering if-"_

_"Spit it out, Beck!" she exclaimed, her anger at herself coming across as frustration with Beck._

_"I was just, I was wondering if, you wanted me to walk you home, I mean, it's dark, it's dark and-" he stammered, approaching his gate._

_"No! What part of 'I don't want to hang out with you' don't you understand? How much clearer can I make it?" she yelled, her words a forceful stab at him, each one cutting him like a knife doused with hatred. She stared up at his hurt eyes, her own heart wounded as he backed away slowly. "Just...no, okay?" she spoke a little more lightly._

_"I...okay, I get it, Jade.." he told her, his voice emotionless._

_Jade watched him unlock the door to his home, and shut the door slowly, generating no sound as the wooden rectangle clicked into it's frame. Jade could feel tears forming in her heavily made up eyes, biting her quivering lip sharply. The next thing she knew, she was off of her bike, racing towards the door that confined Beck, reaching the porch lingering in the spot they had been sat in happily, mere moments ago. __**Just knock on the door, tell him the truth, explain, just...for once don't be such a stubborn grunch, back down, **__she thought, fighting to convince herself. She knew she had made such a mistake, now he would never want to speak to her ever again, she'd acted like such a bitch. Why couldn't she just accept her downfalls, and try to make things okay? But, no matter how much she wanted to. She just couldn't. The night ended with Jade, riding away into the dark night on her bike, her backpack still full of papers, her cheeks tear stained._

Three years on, and Jade was still stuck in that same internal battle.

"Four..." Jade yelled, her clear frustration with herself surfacing. Her heart throbbed, pulsating with pain, feeling Beck already being torn out of her life, and even though it was all her doing, she couldn't stop it, she forced herself to stand back and watch everything fall apart. Beck hadn't given up then, when they were kids, and Jade rejected him outside this very same door - he kept trying, and he wouldn't let her go, he refused to, no matter how much his friends ridiculed him, for not only chasing Jade, when he could have any girl in the school, but for chasing something that was _born to die, _that was destined for disaster, something he could never have, but he wanted more than he'd ever wanted anything before. He chased her, till one day, Jade couldn't fight it any more. She pushed everything aside, her worries, her fear, she couldn't deny the way she felt about Beck, and that one day, when Jade skipped Sikowitz's acting class, because she could no longer stand seeing Beck's devastated face as she made herself reject him daily. She couldn't do it any more. It was only when he left the class against Sikowitz's orders, searching for her, that she realised it couldn't go on this way. Once he found her, she gave herself over to him, letting him kiss her softly, run his fingers through her dark hair, hold her in his arms, her apologies absorbed by the soft skin at the nape of his neck, as he held her close to his chest, her lips brushing against his skin as she allowed all the sadness that had been plaguing her for weeks, to be free, tears surging from her eyes as she begged for forgiveness.

_"You don't have to fight me, Jade. I'm not going to hurt you, I promise" _Beck had whispered against her soft hair, cradling her like a child in his arms.

Jade remembered the way she had looked up at him, her face drowning in thick, large tears that forced their way from her eyelids, her make-up forming in dark clouds around her eyes. _"Why didn't you give up on me?"_

_"Because, someone once told me, if you want something bad enough, don't give up on it."_

And those had been Jade's exact words, that night on the porch, the night they first met. She eventually explained to him, why she was really delivering papers on a Monday night, what she wanted the money for.

"_You really think you're going to raise enough money to pay for private school...delivering papers?" Beck had asked her, tentatively, unsure of how she would react._

_" If you want something bad enough, don't give up on it" Jade had told him, looking down at her hands._

_"And you really want to leave school that bad? You hate it that much?" Beck asked her, his voice highlighted with a pang of sadness._

_"Yes..." Jade mumbled._

"Three..."

Beck. The reason Jade had stayed at Hollywood Arts.

"Two..." Her voice crumbled into a mess of heartbreak and sadness. She had to use all her restraint left, to hold back sobs. Jade allowed her head to fall forwards, tears dripping straight from her eyes, and pooling on the porch, one landing on a faded, messy, scribbled sentence.

"_I love you, Jadelyn West._"

"_What are you doing, you idiot!" Jade squealed, crouching down beside Beck, and hitting the top of his forearm, lightly. A trio of men carrying a couch draped in a protective cover, excited the house, followed by a stream of women and men carrying boxed up items._

_"Watch out" Beck whispered, bringing her out of the way of the stream of people, removing objects from the Oliver household, well, soon to be, the ex-Oliver household. By pulling her a safe distance from the removal team, he had effectively managed to pull her closer to him, their faces almost touching._

_"I love you, Jadelyn West?" Jade bit her lip through a smile, mocking the words that Beck had scrawled on the porch._

_"Yes, what of it, Jadelyn?" He asked her playfully, brushing a strand of dark, curly hair from her face._

_"What are you doing?" Jade sighed, her eyes still on the writing, rolling them despite the evident happiness etched across her face._

_"I want whoever moves in here" Beck said, pointing behind him with his thumb, "To know that I'm in love with you.." he whispered the last part, their faces now so close that his breath brushed over her skin._

_"Are you serious?" Jade scoffed, though inside her heart was fluttering, almost bruising her ribcage, her stomach knotting._

_"Yes.." he smiled._

_"You're lucky I love you" she muttered, laughing lightly._

_"What was that?" he asked her, smirking as he cupped her cheeks with both hands._

_"I said, you're lucky I love you" she smiled, smiling against his touch._

_"I'm sorry, I didn't quite catch that" he rubbed his thumbs across her cheeks, moving one hand around her waist, and bringing her forwards, protecting their fall to the hard concrete, laying back while Jade was pressed against his chest._

_"I said, I love you" she pressed her lips against his, moving her hands up to his hair, clinging to him as he kissed her back intently._

_"I hear you" he whispered._

"One..." Maybe, maybe we were born to die.

Silence.

Jade let out a sob as clenched her fists in anger, her whole body trembling, tears cascading down her porcelain skin. It felt like **all of her heart was breaking with every step she took.**

Jade sniffed, fighting to hold hear tears in, at least until she reached home. A home which wouldn't be Beck's RV. Her face was swimming in hurt and confusion. She reached up to the necklace that hung around her chest, gripping it harshly, tearing it from her body and tossing it to the floor.

_**Choose your last words, this is the last time.**_

_**Cause you and I, we were born to die.**_

ooc; okay so, I don't think this will be a one shot, I'll maybe continue, idk~~

Reviews would be appreciated and loved!~


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